If we were honest as humans we have perfected wearing the mask. Some of us might feel as if it were a crime if our friends knew our thoughts because maybe we fear their friendship truly being there. I certainly can identify! The past few months my heart has been on the treadmill non stop trying to figure where do I connect and do I connect. Will others judge me if they knew the messed up thoughts I had. So, I would like to say hi my name is April and I struggle with anxiety but that doesn't define me!
To even admit that for me takes courage. When I came home I thought about all the ways I may get plugged in but recently God has been investigating my heart for some cleaning and healing. In fact when I looked back at my prayer journals they all dealt with worry.
I am sure that seems puzzling to some that a girl who left familiar things to go to New York may have thus struggle but the reality is were broken. The funny part is I could write about it more then tell some of you face to face. However ,the Lord is rekindling my spirit that it was never about me being perfect.
I also share this because I want others to know like me there is freedom in being broken. We just have to let our pride down to admit were powerless. Believe me I am working on mine. I am also learning to own Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious for nothing but in everything with thanksgiving by prayer and supplication make your request known to God. And may the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard your minds and hearts in Christ Jesus. I am still learning to own it but as a friend challenged me I challenge you. We are not finished! There is hope!
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