Your More Then A Plain Jane

 Romans 8:15

You haven’t received the spirit of slaves that leads you into fear again. Instead, you have received the spirit of God’s adopted children by which we call out, “Abba![a] Father

 God hasn't made us to feel like Plain Jane's but how often it easy to take our mind to feel this way. Can you relate?  No matter how long we have known Jesus the struggle can still feel real! This has been a thought on my mind since this morning at church as I reflected God bringing me into these team of twelve people  to be apart of Love Thy Neighborhood. I have to confess I have had to fight the battle because I have felt like the ," Oh she's just the Corbin girl" because a lot of my team members are from different parts of the states. 

Yet that isn't how God see it that way! So how selfish of me to feel this way because who & where I am from is to be proud of! I am very proud of where I am from please don't  get me wrong !  It's just been hard to not feel what I have felt or even the fact that I am the oldest on the team. I have had to tell myself  you are exactly where God placed for such a season because it is so easy to get caught in comparisons.

 We are not called to be slaves to fear. We're to live in the truth we are His children! That's been such a key part for me in my walk so it's why I share this one with you! God has reminded me I am to live like I am invited at the table because who I am is perfect! What about you do you need to lay in the Fathers hands?

Check out this video below! I believe no matter the age just like children we need to know who we are! I love this video because we all need affirmations of who we are!

The Eternal Inhaler

 God is the eternal inhaler. We can't breath without Him and when we loose our breath from our anxiety and fears  He reaches out to us! This is a thought that has came to my mind especially one who could probably get a blue ribbon for worrying!

 Yet, my Jesus is so patient with me!  I make no jokes about anxiety. I have never struggled to where its been super strong but I can tell you it can eat your mind alive. It's one of the reasons I went to Celebrate Recovery. In Celebrate Recovery I found a forever family. I learned that God really desires us to have community to share the good along with the crazy! Going to Celebrate Recovery was peace to my mind that I am completely normal because we all have junk.

It was hope that there were people who understood what the church needed to be! I think of my friend Ciara, Durenda, Libby & Nona. These women enveloped me! It was a safety net for me. I know I am never unsafe that I am safe with Jesus but I believe He does give us a tangible way of knowing if that makes sense.

 I  count CR as one of my saviors because it only empowered me more in what God had been sowing in me as a college student where my campus minister Dean & Magan were examples in leadership that we can be freely honest with God. It's not that we don't want to share but our shame blocks us. We imagine what others will do if they know ______________.  You can name it I am sure! For me I think of how awkward dynamically I am in some of my relationships.

Yet here in CR I was reminded to be the best me. We can't control others but we can choose how we will respond. I am now a fan  of CR because of how it changed me!  I have even been able to love on some of our children Celebration Place and even though I am going to Louisville for a year CR is a forever part of me! Therefore if one is near you I challenge you to take the guts to go!  

Love Thy Neighborhood Bound September 6th

 Colossians 4:2-3 Keep praying. Pay attention when you offer prayers of thanksgiving. At the same time also pray for us. Pray for God to give us opportunity to speak the word so that we may tell this mystery about Christ. It is because of this mystery I am a prisoner

 " Pray for God to give us opportunity"----- Let me say this phrase again----- " Pray for God to give us opportunity."

 Reading this phrase this morning made me think how many times do I pray God give me opportunities to share the Gospel. This shouldn't just be a  prayer when we go on a mission trip or a project at the church. Its an everyday living prayer. Yet this verse seems so fitting as I think about leaving in a few short weeks to serve with Love Thy Neighborhood.  We can't just go out our doors absent minded of our mission.

It's what I hope for as I intern with  them reaching out to women who have been in the adult industry at Scarlet Hope. I don't want to pretend that battle field is easy or anything on my terms. I need my Jesus to guide me to love just as He has from the beginning that I said yes to Him. Even though I know the opportunities will be there I want to ask Jesus to meet me there.

There is nothing short of it that He will but asking Him is allowing our hearts to invite Him along with partaking of His partnership. I think the fact this program is called Love Thy Neighborhood is so fitting because Neighborhood means community. Community means feeling fellowship with one another. Therefore if a Neighborhood is to live to it's true definition that means   we must share each others needs.

That's why 18-30 year olds like me have agreed to take on this mission with Love Thy Neighborhood. This is why I and many others will go to places like Scarlet Hope because we want to see value restored. It's why we reach out to be a hug truly listening because it's a desire to let others know what love really looks like.

 We have the opportunity to create safe environments for these women. Especially for the 85% who were abused as little girls. Just as  Hoseas was an illustration of God's love to Gomar it is  time to chase after these individuals and many other to let them know of Jesus who longing  loves them.


 Hosea 3:2-3
So I brought her for 23 ounces of silver and 10 bushels of barley. Then I told her, " You must wait for  me a long time. Don't be a prostitute to offer yourself to any man. I will wait for you"

 This man Hosea saw so much value He was willing to buy her that she may not be a slave any more. It's one of my favorite stories and I think this speaks volumes. It's image of sacrifice which is what Jesus does for us everyday.

I hope you will join me in this prayer and you'll take some time to check out:

https://scarlethope.org/ and  https://lovethyneighborhood.kindful.com/1617-year-team/-april-smith

 Lets pray for our opportunities today even where we are!

Grace In Kindness

Two cups of coffee  no shame. Bursting out to some Rend Collective as I reflect on the words ,"Grace in kindness".  Wow! what powerful  words to chew especially  on Thanksgiving!  It is so easy to get caught up in the details of what is and what's not but if you stop were pretty blessed because He gives so much. Check out Ephesians  2:7 and then read Psalm 103. This one was important  to think about because  I started looking at my goals and my student loan. I was quick to check into the impossible  and forget the possible. Then I had to  pause  to remember  who always cares for me. Who loves me most? God! He is my defender! He has put a roof over my head even though  I don't  have my own apartment  yet. He has give me a job as a teacher which I would not of imagined. He has give me my beautiful  church Immanuel!  He has given me clean water, clothes and a heart beat! Praise to God! Thank Him for the simple today!

Delight

The Lord never over looks the desires of our hearts. As I reflect on my list I can see where the Lord has honored one of them. One of my dreams is to be a mother one day. Although I have no biological children I have many.  They are my precious children that I teach everyday at my preschool.  Each of them teach me something every day.

I count that a joy.  Yes, I am their teacher but  the task is much more then teaching them. It's an element of love. This love sometimes means:

* Rocking a child to sleep when sometimes you just want to rest

*  Offering them your last chicken nugget even though you may have wanted it

* Crying with them because you know that their feelings are so real

* Wiping their noses

* Laughing with them

* Allowing them to be the great story teller

 These needs are so basic but  these little things are so  important. I gladly do them because this is what I would want even for my own child. I'm thankful God would entrust me with the task.  I count it a great joy!  Therefore I ask you, How has God honored your desires?

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart

Space of Freedom

 I am only 26 years old but if I gained any wisdom from the past couple of years it is much better to wish less because you will miss out on today's blessings!  There is nothing wrong remembering but we are also called to live present! This has been on my brain a lot because I know I will miss going on a trip this summer; however I have actually received a sweeter blessing of  being home! This summer is the first summer in a while that I have stayed home!

I am actually ok with that! Don't get me wrong if someone offered me a ticket today to go to NYC or maybe another state I would be on it but home is just as good! Though the past few months of adjustment have been hard there have been countless blessings! I am very excited for the things happening in my home church this summer such as VBS, teaching sweet kindergartners on Wed,summer nights with friends  and the new door God opened up for me at 17th Christian Street! I know that being present has really seem to be the focus of my blog in a lot of ways but its very true that when we wish we miss out on today's gifts!

For the first time being home I am at more peace then what I was when I wrestled why I was home. I am at more peace in taking one step at a time even though there are many things I anticipate or  hope to accomplish. I am in a space of freedom!

This space of freedom is lovely because when I stop I see how good God has really been to me!  Also for the first time time something my Pastor told me while I was in New York is starting to make perfect sense.

" One day at a time  obedience is how to arrive at your God ordained destination"

I can see how that one really plays out because  just walking through the door of the Dixie waiting for Him to lead me on has been so evident! This statement really does set your heart free when you think about it because if your any thing like me you become the planner. You start mapping out how you will get from point A to B but really  it's nothing like you planned!  Trust me I still have to pause my heart and note to myself just let God lead and if it is meant to be it will.

With all this in mind it even puts me at peace about my application online for Southern Seminary where I would love take online classes studying children's ministry. Normally I would be frantic about getting  papers in or how will I afford but I am ok with whatever happens because I know God knows what He is doing.

The same with my car situation! I know I anticipate a car but you know  its going to be ok because God is in charge. These things don't  erase my emotions; yet knowing all this allows me to walk with the Prince of Peace being able to breath! I am constantly learning to loosen the grip of my pencil and let God  write my story instead of trying to be the narrator. It's still a work but He is patient! For that I am glad and I challenge you the be walk in this space of freedom!

Beginning To See Answers

 To wait upon the Lord  can be one of the sweetest gifts!   For about five months or less I had been working at the Dixie Café which ended up being a blessing. My idea of course was not to be a waitress but the Lord knew what He was doing. Over the last couple of months I began praying God what is your vision for me and where do you desire to take me. Little did I know He would be preparing me for the preschool at 17th Christian Street!

There is no doubt God's finger prints have been on it all the way because I remember picking up one of their brochures at the Dixie thinking about calling to see if they had any openings because I knew I loved to work with children. Latter down the road which was only last week  I was let go from my job but my boss the Garr's mentioned this place to me. They also encouraged me telling me how good I was with children.

So, I began to pray and I decided to pick up the phone after my walk I had took that week where I saw their sign as well. Before I knew it that very week I was let go I had an interview and now I am in training as a teachers aid. Who would of thought that?

Only the Lord! I am actually very excited because to me this is a reminder God is watching me because I could remember some of the frustrations when I came home beginning to look for a job. So,  for me it's also a reminder that being faithful to the small things is worth it!  Being home has ended up being a blessing!

I couldn't understand why my time was up in New York but there have been things along the way that have affirmed me why I am home. Things like like teaching Kindergarten on Wednesdays,preparing for VBS,my job and many other things I could list! You know I look around and I realized I  am very blessed! I may not be going on another mission trip outside my home this summer but I am on mission in my hometown Corbin, Kentucky.

I see God also confirming what was on my heart my freshmen year at UC which I pushed away thinking I wouldn't go into education but now I'm in training and I will soon get to be in the classroom with sweet young faces!

I really could go on! But it really is true when God tells us in Psalm 37:4 to " Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you His desires" This doesn't mean I will get my way but when I am in Him my heart will be delighted! There are still other things I am praying over like a car along with children's ministry which is another part of my heart I haven't shared much.

I am also learning to just dive deep with my church family who have surrounded me with great support! I don't share this to boast! I share because we all  need reminders of who God says He is!