We Are Not As Poor As We Think

Today  the passage of the woman with two pennies was on my mind. I began my job at Dixie Cafe on Tuesday. I have been recently praying Lord how can I give even when I feel I have little to offer. Its challenging in many ways. One I started catching myself thinking I won't have much income working as a waitress. Its going to take me a long time to save for a car. How can I feel  productive in my community with no car?
I have had  to shut my mouth saying to the Lord whatever it is I will give or do. This includes my finances with tithing. I would like to focus more there as I write this blog. I have never tithed before. I didn't start till the last term of November. I knew that it was important but not living it. However, I have made it my hearts cry to give whatever I can give to give!  I can't let what little I have stop me! If I don't give now how will it be different if I have more?
So, I have taken the challenge to give  whatever I can! I also felt a little frustrated in how do I apply what I did in NYC to my hometown. Where it was simple to go meet up with people which is what I love to do! However, I think I often complicate it! Even though the Dixie Cafe isn't my dream job I can  be a light there!
I don't know your story but I know life is too short to focus on what you don't have. It can set you back into humility.  I even think of a woman I knew in NYC who was struggling financially. She really didn't have much but her way of loving on me was giving a coupon for a frosty. We can all give even if it doesn't look extravagant!

Are you giving with what you have?

Luke 21:1-4The Message (MSG)

 Just then he looked up and saw the rich people dropping offerings in the collection plate. Then he saw a poor widow put in two pennies. He said, “The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they’ll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford—she gave her all!”

No Man Is An Island

 Today I had the song, " No Man Is An Island", on my mind! As I've shared in previous blogs that transitioning back to my home has been hard. I know the people along with the places well. However, I do truly miss my NYC family. The journey at home has been interesting. I started a job at Dixie Cafe.  I never imagined myself being a waitress. However, I have told God whatever He gives me I will make the most of it!
This is my first secular job besides the one summer at Hardees. The only jobs I have ever known is NAMB and camp. I'm really learning to let go and let God! The second challenge is just having to depend on others as I transition back. However, today as I ended my shift I was blessed to see two people from my church. I honestly just wanted to hold my face praying I could just get out to have my God cry moment alone.
I  didn't want others to think she must not like her job or does she even want to be here. The heart of the matter is I have been learning so much in letting God  have His will in my life.   So, being able to see those two from my church was a reminder God was there!
It truly is easy when were in these moments having to really press into God for His plans to not want to tuck and hide away. However, we were built for community and we need to embrace it! Are you embracing your community?

Recover My Eye Sight

 It was just three months ago I left my internship in New York where I served with a church plant called Cornerstone.I have had to train my mind to come to reality to the present that I am home in Corbin. New York is nothing like Kentucky by any imagination. I can't just walk out of my apartment to walk some where as where in New York it wasn't foreign to walk places. That has been really hard on me. Its taken back some of my independence.  This one is hard to swallow as a twenty-five year old.
I'm not ungrateful to be around familiar places or people but I sure do miss my New York family. However, as I was reading Mark 10:46-52 the Lord has reminded me that  even though I am not physically blind that  I need to  come with the same faith as Bartimaeus who said to Jesus recover his eye sight. That is what I want Jesus to do for me.
I want to see Corbin with fresh eyes. For I know my ideas but lately I have been in a position where I have had to say Father I don't know what your trying to do. I can't balance all the quadrants around me.
Even hearing myself say that is hard because I am a planner. I like to have my ducks in order. I'm slowly learning to let go realizing I can't plan every step. I have to learn to just live. To also be ok to make a mess because as humans were going to fail. I have to let go of my perfectionism and remind myself the Lord is working on me which is why Philppians 3:12 has become one of my favorite verses:

 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect but I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus has made me His own

So what is it that you need the Father to recover your eye sight to?

Long To Think Simple

 I long to think simple but I do not always think simple.
There are voices that boomerang from left to right
I sit sometimes begging my mind lets just sit for a while
And all I can say is Jesus I need you
I say I want to walk with wisdom but sometimes my perfection
wavers a cloud over me over the What ifs?
Oh the games you play my little mind
It is like learning to walk for the first time as a baby
You know you want to take the first step but what will the world be like
as you gaze with your sweet brown eyes
Oh you know me well  Lord
You knew my first steps as a child wouldn't be easy and
even as an adult wouldn't be easy
 For me I think I still go in shock but Oh Lord you do not
Teach me to walk for what I think I grasp I do not fully because you know more than I

Where Are You Jesus?

 If our human hearts were honest we would say we have all dared to ask this question, " Where are You Jesus?" at some point. It is not that we have forgot He is there but maybe we forget  who He is. In a passage I read today found in Mark 8:14-21, we find the disciples having a little doubt. Specifically in verses 18;-21:

 Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up? They said to Him,"Twelve." And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you  take up? And they said to Him, "Seven." And He said to them, " Do you not yet understand?"

 This passage really pin pointed some doubts in my heart. I had seen God provide very much when I was in New York but now that I am home looking for a job I feel my heart is very much in the ocean learning to trust God hasn't forgot! He is faithful! I think this is key because sometimes like the disciples we look at the impossible instead of concentrating on the possible.We need to look back at where God has been.

For me that is looking back at New York. To remember the housing He provided along with a second family where I was far away from home. Or to look back in the small ways God has been with me this week:

• I found a check I had forgotten about when cleaning my room
•  A friend has offered to pay me to help with some cleaning
•  I was able to go to a interview this week because my friend was willing to help with transportation
• I was able to to put in an application
•  An opportunity to possibly serve on a retreat

I know my heart is still longing for answers to a job along with what God is doing but I have to remember to look back at where God has been. We need to put on our possible mindsets and not impossible.

Luke 1:37  For nothing will be impossible with God